Offensive Language

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Offensive

28 Pounds doesn't sound very modest to me!

Art should offend people because art should challenge people.
Eriq La Salle 

I came across a stumbling block recently when I realised that no one had ever told me they had been offended by my writing. I felt like I hadn't pushed nearly enough boundaries if this was the case. But then I asked myself, does writing have to offend? Am I crap because I'm not Salman Rushdie? Some of my favourite works offended the hell out of me when I first read them. I hated Gregor Samsa's family when I read Kafka's 'Metamorphosis'. Why? Well, I guess it's because he was so devoted to the family that banished him as a freak and then rejoiced in his death. Am I being unfair? I'm really not sure how I'd react to a family member turning into a giant cockroach but I'd like to think that I'd still hang out with them. Joseph Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness' was another one that offended me - I hated the colonial aspects of the text: the descriptions of the natives as being sub-human. Then I realised that both of these causes of offense are products of their time. Kafka wrote 'Metamorphosis' at a time when people were beginning to turn against Jews in Europe just before World War II. Kafka was merely relating this to us in an uncanny little package. Conrad was in the middle of the colonial era where it was common to see people as being sub-human because of their different culture. Perhaps his point was to make others aware of the folly of this - I really can't remember. In any case, there's no offense in either of these stories when they are taken contextually. It'd be like being offended by Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' because you don't get the satire. When I think about my favourite authors now, I'm not offended by anything they've written but that makes sense - many of them are my contemporaries and write within my time. Of course, I love classics, offensive books such as 'Metamorphosis', 'Frankenstein' (if you don't find Frankenstein offensive re-read it with a modern view) and 'The Count of Monte Cristo' among them. They are of their time, though, and that's not offensive — that's context. So, I'm cool with not being offensive. I'm still going to aim for challenging, though.

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Language

 

 

 

A less glassy Integral than I expected

 I'm sure I've bemoaned this before but I really don't have time to do as regular updates to my blog as I once did due to studying honours this year. One of the texts that I'm working on is Yevgeny Zamyatin's 'We'. I adored this book when I first read it - it's the predecessor of another favourite, 'Nineteen Eighty-Four' by George Orwell. I did, however, receive a sharp wake-up call when I downloaded it to my Kindle last week. I do own the paper copy but for researching the Kindle's search function cuts out heaps of time. So I started searching. I tried 'One State', the name of the Earth in Zamyatin's united nation. No results. That's weird. So, I started flicking through my paper copy to find a reference that I could cross with my Kindle version. It turns out that I have two different translations which are not just slightly off but have very different words for core themes. My Kindle calls the 'One State' the 'United State', a term that I'm not overly pleased with as it seems to refer to America in a book which was written in the USSR. As I flicked further I realised that it was not only key terms but the flavour of the book had changed. The Kindle version was clumsy. Perhaps this is a sign that it's a more correct translation but I liked the flow of the paper version. The case being that I don't speak Russian I can't tell what the difference really is. It would take me a long time to learn Russian to a standard where I could understand Zamyatin's original words for what they were. So, I'm choosing enjoyment of reading over clumsy. If anyone knows what the better translation is, though, I'd be very interested in learning this.

The creature and the beast

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The Creature

In the interest of full disclosure my notepad is slightly smaller than the one pictured.

Firstly, sorry for taking so long in updating my blog - there's this thing called life that happens to be colliding with me as I work towards getting my honours which leaves little time left for my fun projects like this. Now, to the action. As per my last post I'm involved in the collaborative project 'Ask, New Mexico'. In fact, you can read my first chapter and Talitha Kalago's wonderful second chapter now (the third chapter should be up on Sunday night Australian Eastern Standard Time). We often talk about the writing process and how we go about things. I find that keeping all of my drafts means that I can go back through them and see how my story developed. So, I thought that today I would share a little of my process, the stitches that make the creature (I'm reading Frankenstein at the moment). Here, for my embarrassment and hopefully for your interest, is my first go at the first chapter of 'Ask, New Mexico'. After reading this please go through to the Ask, New Mexico page linked above to see the finished product.

Two starts:

1) "Been awhile since the wise owl flew by. Been awhile since I seen any bird."

2) "D'you think they knew?"

"Who?"

"The birds."

"You getting soft in the head?"

Expansion of number one (I already preferred this start and, as you can see on my final copy, it's the one I stuck with.)

"Been awhile since the wise owl flew by. Been awhile since I seen any bird." Jeremiah mused to himself.

"D'you think they knew?" Agnes asked him as she pushed back an ancient flywire screen with a tray of iced tea.

"What?"

"D'you think the birds knew about Old Flo?"

"What? You think just cause she feeds the birds they shot through cause she was dyin'?"

"Well, they have smart eyes, some of those birds."

"You lucky you're good looking!"

It was part of their code to throw compliments after insults. It had saved their marriage more than once.

"Where's Lachlan?" Jeremiah continued after a sip.

"He's up at Jackson's Hill playing with the Davison boy."

"No I'm not."

Lachlan angered the rusty door's hinges as he careless threw the door aside.

"What've you been doing?"

"Marty and I were putting together a radio using his dad's old harvester as an antenna."

It's hard to know what stuck out most about Lachlan — his auburn hair and freckles made him easy to find, his correct grammar and Edinburgh accent made him, as Old Haskell would say, stick out like dog's balls on a budgie and his ingenuity had accelerated his learning to the point where, at age 12, he was in his final year of middle school. He was also the only orphan in the area, his grandparents his only remaining family.

"What ya making a radio for?" Jeremiah asked.

"Wanted to see if we could."

Jeremiah leaned back to turn on his radio. A race caller was reporting the latest odds and scratchings for the 4:20 at (?). Lachlan skulled his drink and ran towards his bike.

"Be back for dinner!" Agnes yelled to his back.

Note to self:

What's missing:

Establish a farming community - also, they're on hard times - it's a dustbowl of rotting machinery where once there were fields of crops and animals.

This note is a verbatim transcript of what I came up with in an hour and a half between classes at uni. You'll notice that despite being an editor my first draft contains some inaccuracies ('skulled', for example) and there is a question mark instead of a place name at the end because I hadn't come up with a name yet. I think the biggest developments, however, are in the character of Lachlan and the overall story arc. Lachlan is described in much greater detail here than he is in the finished work. I consciously did this because I wanted to make the final piece as mysterious as possible so I used very little description. You'll also note that I didn't like the fact that I hadn't described the town at all. I chose a failing farm town partially because of the name of the project but also because I felt that withered machinery rusting in barren fields is creepy. The arc is wonky here; I've mushed in the birds and the radio because my brief included the radio and I think birds are a great way to show strangeness. Both made it in my final but I hadn't yet linked the birds and the radio at this stage of the writing; that actually occurred when I was writing the scene where the radio comes to life and I realised that radio sounds are quite similar to bird sounds as far as adjectives go (squawk, tweet etc.). So here we have the bare-bones of the work which would become the first chapter of 'Ask, New Mexico'.

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The Beast

I've lost so much time to this website!

This entry also concerns my notes above. Perhaps one of you eagle-eyed readers will have noticed a difference in spelling between the notes and the finished copy. When I describe the woman who fed the birds before she died her name is 'Old Flo' in my notes and 'Old Flow' in the final. It's a small thing but I've got to admit it's really bugging me. It's the first time that I've been auto-corrected in my work and I really resent the fact that my reference to 'Flo', being a hint towards birds with 'Florence Nightingale' was changed to be associated with water, something that I didn't put anywhere else (it is, in fact, absent in the dustbowl of Ask). I'm also annoyed that I missed it on the edit. I've since turned my auto-correct off which is equally annoying as it does come in handy when you are repeatedly writing long words but I feel that I do not want to dance with that beast again (not even for a talking tea-pot, although given that I drink a lot of tea the teapot would most likely say 'Ow! This water's hot!' more than anything else).

Forward March! and Back To Basics

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Forward March!

I literally realised five minutes before typing this sentence that there was no picture of me on my blog! So, that's me above. At the time I was setting out on a journey I'd covered twice before — National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). That's my old computer who got me through last November and then tragically died, taking with it four years of uni work, three novels and countless short stories. I didn't expect that my computer would die, as evidenced by the fact that I never backed up my work. I also never expected that last November would be the start of the flurry that I had been waiting for: after writing my novel in November I thought I would have a break and then edit it for a few months. Obviously, having lost the entire novel I could no longer do that but I found something more. I started getting involved in a local writers group and submitting short stories to publications. I was published simultaneously as a writer and editor, getting all of the firsts away in one fell swoop. Then I submitted more. I faced the fear of rejection (I was rejected, too, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected), the dizzying thrill of the wait for a reply and the utter joy of acceptance. It's been a crazy ride guys and if you're putting it off I can only tell you what you already know: it's going to be scary, fun, crazy, exciting and in the end you just might get published so get going!
To see my published journal contact the Geelong Writers.
To see the awesome collaboration novel I'm in (you can read it for free online) go here.

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Back to Basics

There's been a lot of charts popping up on the net about grammar and spelling. Yes, these charts have been around for a while, and yes, they do target the same things (the obligatory apostrophe section and the ever-present section on 'their, there they're' and 'your and you're'). The oatmeal probably do the best ones in that they are correct while being entertaining (did you know that dolphins get run over by jet skis if you misspell 'weird'?). I'm actually glad that these things are around - they're a great chance for people who are unsure of their grammar and spelling to get bite-sized lessons. On the other hand, we really shouldn't need these. I did all of my primary and high school education while only encountering grammar in one class: Greek class. That's right, I did thirteen years of schooling at a sub-tertiary level and I only learned grammar when it related to another language. For all that I still had good grammar but it was no fault of the school system; I just read so much that I knew what sentences looked like. When I got to university and had to take grammar tests (they do this for students in Professional and Creative Writing) I did well on them except when it came to the 'why'. In fact, my only 'why' was 'because it looks wrong'. I've since studied editing and put myself through hell trying to learn all of the things I should have known my whole life. There can be no doubt that I would have had a much easier run if I had learned grammar from an early age. There can also be no doubt that if grammar and spelling were taught in early schooling there would be no need for the charts around the web.

******** and The Eye Is Mightier Than The Chip

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*********

It's time for another look at censorship in light of recent developments. If you don't follow Tech Dirt or Stephen Fry on twitter then you may have missed this article. In a nutshell, the article tells of Paypal's demands that Smashwords (a publisher) remove any works or pieces within works which contain "bestiality, rape-for-titillation, incest and under-age erotica". Smashwords was at pains to point out that they had no choice but to comply as their business is run through Paypal. They also advised that this isn't Paypal's fault but that the online payment website was under pressure from credit card companies to comply. From the outset I'd like to make it clear that it doesn't matter whether I find such themes as I listed above to be distasteful or wrong; that's never a part of the argument despite what pro-censorship advocates would have us believe. The point is that whether I wish to access this material or not it should be available. Sure, you can post warnings on things so that people who are sensitive to these things are aware that they are contained within but preventing people from accessing writings is not the answer. When credit card companies dictate what we can buy with money that they allow us to access then we are losing our freedom. There are a lot of smart people out there so I'm hoping someone comes up with an alternative so we can avoid these situations in the future.

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The Eye Is Mightier Than The Chip

 
The proliferation of editing software had me concerned for all of about two minutes. Yes, it's cool that you've programmed something to recognise a split-infinitive or a misspelled word. You know what? I can do that too. On top of that I can recognise words which are spelt correctly but used in the wrong place. I can identify clunky sentences which are grammatically correct. I can review the language used in the context of the target audience and I can identify idioms which will work with select audiences. In short, I'm more than a chip - I'm a wordie who knows what word should go where, when and why. Do that, Mr. Chip!

Read, Write, and Blue

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Read, Write

As you might have guessed from the picture above or the background of this blog I like books. Oh, and the fact that I'm a writer might also have tipped you off. The thing is that I've met people who love the idea of writing but don't read. I'm not surprised merely because I've always been a bookworm, there are a couple of more troubling things about this. Firstly, it's important to know your industry — you can't expect to pen a book and get published without knowing a bit about what's around at the time (or, as my inner nerd would say 'One does not merely walk into publishing'). Secondly, and most importantly, you're missing out on a massive part of your education by not reading. As a reading writer you'll find words that you can use and your grammar will improve because you're immersing yourself in edited work. There are other things to consider too. When you read a piece you can look at the tricks the author uses in their writing: does the author reveal plot points all at once or are they hinted until they become clear? Does the author change the tempo of their sentences to match the action of the story? Are different characters written in different ways to aid differentiation? There is so much more than just these examples that you can pick up when you read. Also, you might just enjoy the book!

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Blue

If you think I'm the kind of person who doesn't swear then you probably don't know me very well and you have definitely never been in the car with me. I sometimes write swear words too, but I try to keep it audience appropriate (''That motherf**ker's still in my bed!' cried the little bear' is not something I would put in Goldilocks unless I was doing a gritty re-boot starring Samuel L. Jackson). That's part of the work of an editor: we can't merely ensure that the language is correct or that it correctly phrased for the text (ie. to blank out letters or to let the word stand) but we need to consider whether the language is appropriate for the target audience. It's not something limited to swear words, either, but across all language. Is the author using uncommon or unusual words? We have to consider whether the audience will understand this. If it's an academic work and the words are used correctly you may wish to let this stand. Literature can also get away with exercising the vocabulary but if you're editing a novel which is making an attempt at reaching a broad audience then you have to consider whether the large words could still be expressed using more basic language. I'm no slouch when it comes to vocab but I've been alienated by authors who use words frequently which are uncommon. I just can't be bothered using a dictionary every time something comes up so I don't bother reading them. There are more than enough books which are entertaining and accessible so unless you're targeting an audience which will understand or appreciate the use of uncommon words re-phrase it: you're not dumbing it down if you're saying the same thing and more people will be able to read it.

Obsession and confession

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Obsession

Okay, I just can't keep this in any longer. I'm utterly obsessed. My hands are shaking at the thought of being without my most recent addiction. I've ridden this wave before - in fact I've been suffering from this same addiction since I was about twelve. Don't worry — it's not a drug, although it is linked to a 7% solution of cocaine. It's my oldest literary love: Sherlock Holmes.

Above is my first Sherlock, the one that Arthur Conan Doyle wrote in the guise of Dr. John Watson. The illustrator was Sidney Paget and he gave me the person who I thought was the definitive consulting detective. This is why I've always preferred Basil Rathbone; he looked more like the person Paget drew than Jeremy Brett or Robert Downey Jnr (although I'll give the former credit for great performances and the latter credit for bringing sexy back). But, twenty years after I first fell in love with the books, I've found the perfect Sherlock: Benedict Cumberbatch.

As you can see from this picture, which is only necessary if the rock you live under is well insulated and doesn't have wi-fi, this has very little in common with Sidney Paget's pictures. The disappearing hair-line has been replaced with luscious locks and the aquiline features have softened. It was as I was falling in love with this new guise of the master detective that I realised something: the words always meant more than the pictures. Sherlock Holmes is no more Paget's pictures than he is the deer-stalker he never actually wore in the books. Arthur Conan Doyle gave us a character more rich than any picture and Cumberbatch's Holmes is the blunt, egotistical and emotionally-stunted genius that I first loved so many years ago. Welcome back, Mr. Holmes.

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Confession

I've spent a lot of time defending the humble semi-colon (;) but I must now confess something — semi-colons are a dying breed. The reason is this: there are enough other punctuation marks to cover semi-colons, the most common of which are em dashes (—). This lovely, long hyphen is very popular and performs the same function as the semi-colon; it binds two parts of a sentence which are related but go in a different direction to each other. I don't think the point is that the semi-colon is not necessary, though, I think the point is that we're using em dashes more often. Em dashes are easier to understand because they are a single line and we're so used to seeing them and using them. I'm not saying that we should replace the semi-colon with the em dash, not at all, but we should be punctuating to our audience. The em dashes are the semi-colons of the younger audience so it makes more sense to use them in young adult stories and novels. If you're writing adult work or a nice piece of literature then the semi-colon is your man. As for me, I'll be sticking with the way I currently punctuate; I'll be using each punctuation mark as the need arises. Sorry about the fence-sitting, semi-colon, but you're both useful.

1001 words forward

Hey readers,

We've got a treat today as I have interviewed the brilliant Scarlett Archer about her new book '1001 First Lines'. So, wiout further ado, let's start at the very beginning!

Do you consider the first line to be an important part of a story? If so, why?

I think it's one of the most vital parts of a book. When I pick up a book I want it to catch me. Given I'll wait a couple of paragraphs but I'm essentially looking to be seized by the opening line. It's like hearing someone for the first time, you immediately get the impression of what they're about from the way they talk, the way they say their words, the rhythm that they arrive, and how the words mingle in amongst one another. 

Do you find first lines easy to come up with, or challenging? Do you have a technique, or a ritual, that you go by to make it easy?

It's definitely one thing I love about writing. I know a lot of writers who hate starting a story but the first line is an inviting challenge. It's beginning the great meal I'm cooking up! I don't find them easy to come up with but I enjoy thinking about them. They don't frustrate me. As for a technique or ritual I give my intuition a lot of room to take charge. I don't force it but browse through inspiration and let things build. Normally something will eventually come along, even if I force myself to sit down and begin I've given it enough space to have something ready. 

What consequences, if any, do you think there are in having a badly written first line?

I put the book down. The end.

What's your favourite first line that you've ever read? And can you recall a worst?

"The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." - The Gunslinger (Dark Tower Series), Stephen King. It was the moment when I realised the power of a first line because I picked the book up in the book store, read it, read no more but bought it straight away and went home and demolished the whole series.

What is one of your own best first lines?

"Aroset put a bullet into his head." Clean, immediate conflict, someone's gonna die.

We're all sharing here! What's one of your worst first lines?

"Oh my God, what the hell is Brett doing?" This beginning grates me to the core. All I hear is a whiny teenager, probably because that's exactly what I was at the time I wrote it!

Do you have any suggestions for other authors on how to write a great first line? Have you heard any great advice yourself?

I think one of the best things I learned in writing in general was to bring action in to the present. Make it punchy, and alarming. Don't be afraid to shock your reader! 

What are some things a first line *shouldn't* be? What are some things that you've read in first lines that really rubs you the wrong way?

Info dumping. No matter what the genre of the book- and it happens more often in things like fantasy and sci fi, which is probably why I don't read a lot of it- it shouldn't start with a hill and a half of information.

 

Scarlett Rugers (writing as Scarlett Archer) has just released a book 1001 First Lines which is now available at Amazon! You can purchase a paperback, .lit, .epub, .mobi and PDF versions here: http://www.1001firstlines.wordpress.com.

She has been writing for over fifteen years, completed over eleven novels, and her main drive is in speculative fiction or its contrasting opposite romantic comedic novels. She has a passion for studying the art of story telling and is a grand lover of movies. Her focus in work is book cover designs which enables her to put all her energy in to the area she loves most- literature. You can get in touch with her about getting a book cover designed for you athttp://www.booksat.scarlettrugers.com

To read my interview by Scarlett check out  http://www.1001firstlines.wordpress.com

What do you think about first lines? Got any favourites or ones that completely turned you off a book?